“It was like walking a tightrope every day.”
You probably know Jennette McCurdy — she starred as fan favorite Sam on the hit show iCarly.
Heads-up: This post deals with talk of eating disorders and parental abuse.
Well, last week, Jennette McCurdy talked to People about her one-woman theater production, I’m Glad My Mom Died — a title she knows is “thought-provoking.”
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“My earliest memories of childhood were of heaviness and chaos,” Jennette said.
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“My mom’s emotions were so erratic that it was like walking a tightrope every day. The mood fluctuations were daily.”
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“My mom had always dreamt of being a famous actor and had become obsessed with making me a star,” Jennette continued.
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And although Jennette admitted she was “cripplingly shy” as a child, she said, “I felt like my job was to keep the peace. And I wanted to make my mom happy.”
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Jennette further told People that by the time she was 11, her mom had taught her calorie counting, bleached her hair, and whitened her teeth.
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Once Jennette got the role of Sam in iCarly, which debuted in 2007, she was suffering from anorexia, “which later swung to binge eating and then bulimia,” People states.
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“I know if my mom were alive, I’d still have an eating disorder,” Jennette said. “It was only distance from her that allowed me to get healthy.”
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Three years into her role as Sam, at age 17, Jennette said her mother would perform vaginal and breast exams and forbade her from showering alone.
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After her mother died of cancer in 2013, Jennette began the healing process, attending “intense therapy.”
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“I did not know how to find my identity without my mom,” she says. “And I’m not going to lie — it was very hard to get here. But now, I’m at a place in my life that I never would have thought was possible. And I finally feel free.”
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You can read all the quotes from Jennette’s interview with People here.
If you or someone you know is being abused, call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You can find more resources, information, and support here.
If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault, there are resources available. RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline is 800.656.HOPE, or you can chat online with trained professionals here.
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