They’re cumming to get you, Barbara…
Sex and horror go hand-in-hand. Slasher and exploitation films are filled to the brim with bare-chested women and awkward sex scenes that often led to quick and/or painful deaths. While sex typically means death in horror, porn horror parodies are a different story. They take the violent stories we love and turn them into one titillating, and hilarious, good time. I mean, there’s just something special about
In honor of the art of porno horror parodies, we’re looking at 10 of the most bizarre titles out there. No, I won’t be including the videos in this article. That’s why we have Google, kids.
Gum (parody of Jaws)
This title is deeply uncomfortable which is why it earns a spot on this list. After all, how exactly do you make a porno parody of Jaws? Thankfully, director Robert J. Kaplan figured it out with his 1976 film which features a sex-loving mermaid with a taste for man meat. Yes, she does in fact castrate men with her mouth. Good for her. Plus, there are puppets.
Edward Penishands (parody of Edward Scissorhands)
The title speaks for itself. This parody imagines a world where Edward Scissorhands has, well, penises for fingers instead of blades. He’s discovered by a door-to-door dildo salesman and he quickly falls in love with her daughter. It was released in 1991 and I’m pretty sure we’ve all joked about it at least once in our lives. This is perhaps one of the most well-known porn horror parodies out there.
The Xxxorcist (parody of The Exorcist)
I’m going to let the official synopsis of this one speak for itself:
After all other exorcism methods fail, Father Merkin has no other option but to screw the hell (and the devil) out of a possessed woman, Regan Teresa MacFeel.
Official Friday the 13th: Porn Parody
As the very basic title suggests, this is a parody of Friday the 13th, which is already known for its sex. Of course, this film takes it to the next level as campers have sex with reckless abandon and no regard for their safety. The hockey mask-wearing Jason massacres the Crystal Lake Nudist Camp. He drowned in the lake due to the size of his penis. Obviously.
Texas Vibrator Massacre (parody of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre)
Porn actor and director Rob Rotten has made perhaps one of the most graphically violent porn horror parodies with this one. Yes, there’s a lot of sex, but there’s also cannibalism, sexual assault, and a whole lot more. While Tobe Hooper’s original film was relatively bloodless, Rotten really goes for the gold in terms of gore with his film.
This Ain’t The Munsters: XXX Porn Parody
We’ve been a-buzz about Rob Zombie’s adaptation of The Munsters, but did you know there’s also a porn parody of the classic sitcom? It’s shot all in black and white, so they really commit to the vintage aesthetic. Plus, two of the actors play Lily and Herman Munster who do what married couples do. Like the title suggests, this isn’t your grandma’s Munsters.
A Wet Dream On Elm Street (parody of A Nightmare On Elm Street)
Porn horror parodies often take the easy route when it comes to a title, just adding Porn Parody to the end of the original film’s name. Luckily that’s not the case with the incredibly titled A Wet Dream On Elm Street. The team even created a poster reminiscent of the original film. That’s dedication. In the film, Freddy’s knife hands are replaced with vibrators. He uses them to put women into “pleasure comas”. How kind.
The Hills Have Thighs (parody of The Hills Have Eyes)
This entry was actually broadcasted on HBO and Showtime. It’s still erotic, don’t you worry. The Hills Have Thighs was directed by Jim Wynorski, who’s known for his work in the B-movie sphere. He’s directed over 150 films, such as Chopping Mall, Sorority House Massacre II, and House IV. Wynorski also directed several porno horror parodies such as Cleavagefield and Para-Knockers Activity.
Evil Head (parody of The Evil Dead)
You can’t go wrong with porn horror parodies with punny titles, especially when it comes to riffing on Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead. Clocking in at a whooping two-and-a-half hours, this porno follows two couples in a secluded cabin in the woods who accidentally unleash an ancient and horny evil from the NecronomiCum Ex-Mortis.
Re-Penetrator (parody of Re-Animator)
Herbert West? More like Herbert Breast. No really, that’s his name in the porn horror parody of Brian Yuzna’s 1991 film Re-Animator. He resurrects a sex worker from the dead who returns to the world of the living hornier than ever.
