Collin Gosselin is looking back at his childhood with his mom, Kate Gosselin, in his new memoir.
“The happiest memories I have with my mom are little moments that she fabricated in front of the camera,” Collin, 22, exclusively claimed in his Us digital cover story.
In Collin’s In the Shadow of Eight: Surviving the Reality of My Childhood, he details growing up with his seven siblings — twins Mady and Cara, now 26, and fellow sextuplets Joel, Aeden, Hannah, Alexis and Leah, now 22 — and the abuse he allegedly endured from his mother.
Collin claimed that his mother Kate’s alleged physical and emotional abuse toward him intensified when he started to refuse filming the family’s hit TLC series, Jon & Kate Plus 8. (Kate has not publicly addressed Collin’s claims featured in his new book, and has long denied any allegations of abuse, neglect or wrongdoing.)
“There was this moment we were at some kinda place with all these hay bales and she did this little sweet moment, and she’s like, ‘I just love when you’re happy, and you’re you.’ And what she meant by that was, ‘I love when you’re performing in front of the cameras, and you’re not pushing back against being exploited,’” Collin recalled. “That’s what that moment was, you can find it.”
He continued, “She’s holding my head and hugging me and just being so sweet to me. There was never any of that behind the camera. It was always in front of the camera. And that exact moment was her saying, ‘I love when you perform for the cameras.’”
Kate and Jon Gosselin divorced in 2009 after a decade of marriage. Kate was granted primary custody of the pair’s eight children. Collin, for his part, was institutionalized at Fairmount Behavioral Health System in Philadelphia when he was 12 years old over alleged behavioral issues.
Jon ultimately sought custody of Collin and was also granted custody of daughter Hannah. The remaining siblings continued to live with Kate.
“I can’t remember what my siblings looked like,” Collin told Us. “I can’t remember what they sound like. I can’t remember what they did look like or sound like back in the day. I mean, I can’t remember anything. It’s like I don’t know them. I don’t know what they like. I don’t know what they’re into nowadays, what their hobbies are and what they do in their free time. Like, there’s just so many simple things I just wish I knew. And I don’t know. But I have thought about it a lot. … We have so many things to talk about.”
In the Shadow of Eight is available now.